How to Set Up a Private or Family Fediverse Instance
The Fediverse is all about freedom – freedom to communicate, to connect, and to control your online experience. But what if you could go a step further and build your very own private social network for your family, friends, or community?
Running a private Fediverse instance means you can create a safe, customized, and ad-free environment, while still having the option to connect with the broader decentralized world – if you want to.
In this guide, we'll look you how to set up your own instance from scratch.
1. Why Run Your Own Private Instance?
There are many good reasons to set up a private Fediverse server:
- Full control: You define the rules, the users, and the experience.
- Privacy and safety: No tracking, no ads, no unwanted strangers.
- Customization: Add family branding, emojis, or features you like.
- Learning opportunity: Perfect small project for families or communities to learn about self-hosting.
Whether you're setting up a network for your family, a local club, or a group of friends, a private instance gives you ownership over your digital space.
2. Choosing the Right Software
The Fediverse is more than just Mastodon. Depending on your needs, different software might be a better fit:
| Software | Pros | Cons |
|---|---|---|
| Mastodon | Polished, familiar interface | Heavier resource usage |
| Pleroma / Akkoma | Lightweight, customizable | Interface less polished out of the box |
| Misskey / Firefish | Creative, fun features | More complex setup |
For most family or small-group instances, Pleroma or Akkoma is a great choice because they are light on resources and easy to manage.
However, if you want a familiar "Twitter-like" feel, Mastodon is a safe bet.
3. Setting Up Hosting
You have two main options for hosting:
- VPS (Virtual Private Server): Services like Hetzner¹ or OVH offer cheap servers (~5-10€/month). Ideal if you want reliability and easy remote access.
- Home Server / Raspberry Pi: Hosting at home gives you even more privacy, but requires configuring your router and handling dynamic IPs.
💡 Tip: For a small private server, you don't need much power. 1–2 GB RAM and 1–2 vCPUs are usually enough.
4. Domain Name and SSL
A memorable domain makes access easy:
Examples: fitz-amobi.social, singh.chat, firefriends.net
- DNS Setup: Point your domain's A and AAAA records to your server's IP address.
- SSL Certificate: Caddy is an excellent web server that automatically handles HTTPS certificates for you – no manual Let's Encrypt setup needed! It can also function as a reverse proxy if you want to host multiple services on a server.
If you're hosting at home without a static IP, consider setting up a Cloudflare Tunnel to expose your server securely without public IP hassles.
5. Access Control: Keeping It Private
To keep your server truly private:
- Disable public registrations: Most software lets you allow "invite only" signups. Some even let you use your existing LDAP and OIDC infrastructure – which comes in handy if accounts should be strickly controlled and managed.
- Use approval workflows: Review and approve any new accounts manually if needed.
- Hide your instance: In Mastodon and others, you can disable visibility in public directories like FediDB.
- Federation controls: Optionally block federation with unknown or unwanted instances.
With these settings, your Fediverse home stays cozy and under your control.
6. Maintaining Your Instance
Running a server isn't a one-time task – here’s how to keep things running smoothly:
- Backups: Regularly back up your database and media files. (Simple cronjobs or backup scripts work well.)
- Updates: Keep your Fediverse software and your system packages updated to patch security vulnerabilities. You can follow either the specific accounts (maybe via RSS) to be notified if updates are available.
- Monitoring: Set up a simple monitor like UptimeRobot, or self-host something lightweight like Gatus.
Don’t worry – maintenance for a small private server usually only takes a few minutes per month once everything is set up!
7. Optional: Controlled Federation
One beauty of the Fediverse is that you can connect with others – but only if you want to.
Options you have:
- Closed federation: Only follow approved instances or users.
- Whitelist federation: Allow connections only to selected instances (great for other family/friend servers).
- Relays: Optional – if you want your instance to feel more lively. But for private use, they aren't needed. It's more recommended to use a service like FediBuzz than to use general relays.
You control whether your server is a quiet island or a small connected archipelago.
Setting up your own private Fediverse instance isn’t just a technical project – it’s an investment in digital independence for you and your loved ones.
With a little bit of setup, you can create a safe, cozy, ad-free space where your group can share updates, pictures, and conversations without worrying about algorithms, surveillance, or toxic public platforms.
In the Fediverse, you are the platform – and that’s a beautiful thing.
If you want to hear more from me you can find me in the Fediverse at @gelbphoenix@social.gelbphoenix.de (Mastodon) or @gelbphoenix@gram.social (Pixelfed).
¹ [Affiliate Link: Following this link gives you $20 in Hetzner Cloud Credit when registering]